Magical Lines and Jenessa Boey Byers!

I haven't been able to write. I haven't felt up to it. This week took quite the toll on my body. Ahh well....It's like i'm stoned, but without the meds...I always get the short end of the stick...lol..I have gone every morning, prompt at 7:30, for my sessions...6 down, 15 to go! They re-draw on me everyday. I hear them mumbling measurements to themselves. Here I am thinking to myself that these lines they constinuously draw on my chest were magical radiation lines. Lines that held a special ink that captured the radiation to kill the leftover junk and speed up my recovery. Ummm...nope. Those measurements they mumble...yeah...its to make sure I am in place, to the millimeter, each day. So these lines are to help them so they don't screw up and nuke another part of my body....lol...fantastical and interesting. Don't I feel like a dumbarse. It's ok, I am able to admit when my hamster collapses and trips into another realm of dumbness. lol...it's all good.

I have been sleeping alot. I am not sure if it is just my body trying to make up for the past couple of months. Fatigue is a major side effect from the radiation. All I think to myself is that it is almost over. I can't wait. But I do worry alot about where I am headed. The other night I watched Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. They built a house for a little girl, Boey Byers, who had a rare form of childhood cancer. She relapsed and got it a second time. Boey is a major inspiration to me. At 8 years old, she tried her best to fight it and still gave back to other afflicted children by giving them stuffed animals, so they can SMILE. Here I am watching this show, in tears, thinking how fantastical this little girl is. Her eyes lit up when they moved that bus and she got to see her dream home. That was a pure innocent, moment of happiness. I think the last time I felt that way I was 5. The show ended and you think, "Wow, this girl is a fighter." She fought til her death because they later made a dedication to her for she lost her battle with cancer last December. I died for a moment. I cried in complete hysteria.

I am really not trying to portray a manic depressive nature here...lol...I find I have become alot more emotional which bothers me a great deal. Obviously putting myself out there through this blog, doesn't help. The irony is I do have a difficult time showing emotions to people. I guess it depends with who and yet here I am, wearing my heart on my sleeve, but I can't see you. I don't know who you are. This show on Boey hit me hard. I would have given it up for her and other children. Alot of people say its unfortunate when someone my age is diagnosed with cancer. But she didn't even get a chance. She didn't go through puberity. Have her first kiss. Get a prom dress. What she did do, though, was change the lives of many. She touched the hearts of people everywhere. I am lucky to have "met" her even though it was just through a television episode. I will surely never forget this young girl who is known as a "Cancer Warrior."

http://www.gazettetimes.com/articles/2007/12/29/news/top_story/2aaa01_boey.txt

http://www.jenessabyers.com/index.php