To Rocker Fingers

It's 5:07a.m.. I have been up for the past 54 min. Can't sleep. Story of my life. I have been reading emails that supporters graciously send me and I am really awe-struck.

My friend Patty T. sent me this quote, which as simple as it may seem at first glance, after having repeated it, makes you realize the beauty in its simplicity. It is true.

"Do all you can with what you have in the time you have in the place you are." -Nkosi Johnson

If I can do something that people will remember and want to be a part of, I feel I have accomplished my goal. I went into this saying that my fundraising goal was $10 000.00 for both events. I was happy with that incentive, and without me realizing just the one event, in May, might cultivate more than that. Fantastical. To some that might not be much, but I think it's huge.

After having another great dinner at "TOYO" on Friday (seriously guys you need to check this resto...its amazing), my friend Katy looked at my nailpolish and was like, "Li, why do you have 2 different shades on your hand?" She was referring to the fact that my index and pinky fingers were a darker shade of purple, whereas the other fingers a lighter one. I said, "Well those are my rocker fingers."

Some say that I have overcome all this in strength and with my "no bullshit attitude". I was always like that, though. It just took cancer for some people to realize it as a good quality...lol..(i.e. my parents, nonna and nonno...jeeze louise) I have always "rocked" my life, my way and I often say that I Am a rocker for life. Whatever that actually means to people...boh! But it means alot to me. I remember nights at Cafe Campus with friends, t-shirt and jeans with flip-flops, rocking to the oldies and dancing like a bunch of hippies. I remember "Sunday Bloody Sunday" coming on and those rocker fingers went up and just represented so much. Checking out bands and its just a salute to a great song, or person. A term of agreement if you will. Nay or Yay...no just ROCKER FINGERS....lol. God I am so wierd...I am starting to get it now...lol

I guess I see it as a way of thinking, a state of mind. It makes me think of many happy moments with those I have cared about throughout the years. When you fall ill, you have alot of time to think about things. Replay different scenarios...the "what ifs" of the past emerge. You are tempted to rekindle ties that were cut or perhaps cut the ties that bind. I have always believed you must stand by your convictions. I have tried. We all play the hippocrite card. I am far from perfection, but at the same time I can say that I have little or no regrets. Whether certain decisions hurt you or not, you just need to let it ride. Everything has its time and happens for a reason. Sometimes very inexplainable reasons but I am sure someone will explain it to me in the afterlife...lol. Rock it your way. Play it your way. Be happy and cherish.

"Do all you can with what you have in the time you have in the place you are." -Nkosi Johnson

Oh Patty, why are all the women in your family so smart?...lol..Great quote, thank you.

So the next time you hear a great song and it triggers a fantastical memory or even a not so great one, rocker fingers! What hasn't killed you can only make you stronger, right? Or my nonna used to say something about snow and mountains...boh!...lol