Trying to learn the life-long lesson...

I think I totally screwed myself over. God must be disappointed..lol.. I started analyzing the person I was before I got sick in comparison to the person I am now, I haven't changed. Wasn't I suppose to learn something? I was trying to see if perhaps there may have been a difference in character..nothing, I am still stubborn as hell...I am still ambitious, I am still loud mouth and crass. I had set out my goals and sick or no-sick, I acheieved them. My doctor says its because I don't accept the situation I am in. He's right!

My grandmother told me this saying, and when translated from Italian to English is, God does not put more snow on a mountain that can't handle it...lol...Nonna is cute but C'MON!!! I haven't accepted my situation from the beginning. I wasn't given a choice. I had to fight it. I made it! I was cleared at 90% at treatment 6. Next week I better get some good news.

So here I am in August-07 being told that I have a mass on my lungs and that I should come back in 3 weeks. "You don't tell me to come back in 3 weeks, wtf is it?" I knew right away. For some reason my life has a wonderful track record of mishaps and misfortune, but you need to look at the bright side, right? Hospitalized that same day, they almost had to call security on me for how livid I was. You see I am not a big cryer and I was raised to be tough and not to take shit. I lost it on 2 nurses working at urgence. I was in shock.

My thought process was chill out because if you freak, THEY will freak. They being my family. So I got to play with the hospital bed. Put on a couple of shows for the nurses on the 6th floor. Got 2 cool scars. 1 across my throat, but I tell people I got mugged with that one. and the other one right over my left breast. I love scars, they rock solid!

So...ok...what did I learn? That my mountain now looks like the iceberg that potentially sunk the Titanic. lol...I learned that when you are confronted with the unexpected you literally have to bend over and take it, but I figure if you are going to take it might as well find a way to enjoy it...This experience has been interesting.

This is what I learned: I am truly stronger than I thought I was! yay! I think we all are...